Wednesday, April 17, 2013

days like these

spring has sprung! and I would love to dwell on happy thoughts. really, I would loveeee to.
but actually 

this is my life right now:
  • intensive German language and cultural integration classes. 
  • frantically attempting to design and create my own online business, while battling constant temptation to compare myself with every other creative blogger and business owner out there.

and most days, I put on a pretty brave face. because I was raised to be brave. and most of the time I am. But then there are those days. you know those days...

when I am just not that sure of myself.

I think that's something that all of us can relate to on some level or another, and I know it's a feeling that has followed me around wherever I am living, whatever I am pursuing, whoever I am with. These questions: what do I have to offer? am I enough? will people approve of what I make, do, say...?
ahh, yeah. The list goes on. 

These newest projects have been no different for me: what if I say something stupid? what if I don't understand what people are saying to me? what if it takes me MONTHS to make my first sale? what if people don't like my products, or are disappointed with something they buy from me? what if, now that I have actually begun, I find I do not have what it takes to finish?
I have learned that having compassion for myself doesn't mean I ignore all of these thoughts and fears. It is so much more helpful to name them as they come along, let them sit there, and then eventually move them out of the way so I can get some work done. 
So, that's the plan. Keep taking the next step. And maybe eventually, I will realize that I am no longer walking in fear. 

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